Little Miss Muffet

It happened. The nightmare scenario. Two nights ago, I was lying in bed reading, pretty standard Monday night fare for me. I’d been reading for about an hour when I felt something tickle my right forearm. Thinking it was the cat’s tail, I did nothing. The sensation persisted, so I looked down, and there I […]

Opening Day

It has been 159 days since Alex Gordon ended the World Series on third base, 90 feet away from tying game 7. It has been 159 days as a Royals fan, thinking about how close we were, how one tiny detail could have drastically changed what is now history. I’ve wrestled with that 90 feet, ached […]

Sob/Nip/Tuck

There’s a woman at my gym who I’ve seen for about a year and a half. She’s approximately five feet tall, in her mid-forties, with what I would call a body-shaped body and a human face. I know she’s Filipino because she often wears a shirt with her country’s flag on it. Either that, or […]

Yes, Autographs, Please!

I met a fan. A flesh and blood, NOT imaginary fan. It was Christmas Eve, 2014. My friend Brian and I were at Target because we are quite insane. In the store, he spotted an old neighbor of his, a woman who lived next door when he was growing up. Her name was Shirley. I […]

Date Night (Locked and Loaded)

As I am currently in the midst of what I’m pretty sure is another fizzled and unspectacular end to my latest attempt at absconding my cat lady fate, I’ve been thinking: I haven’t told all of you any wacky dating stories in a while. Want to hear some? Okay! Happy to oblige. Adventures in Dating: […]

What To Expect When You’re Not Expecting

For a little over a year now, I have been a runner. By “runner,” I mean I go out my door and jog, wheeze, complain, and burn calories for at least three miles. I joined my local running club, and last Friday, I decided to go to the January social event. I thought, hey, I […]

Legacy Of Socks

Yesterday, I wore a pair of my grandma’s socks. I know they were her socks because “Mildred Service” was carefully stitched into the toes. All day long, I wore Grandma’s socks, and I could feel her nametag rubbing a nice blister on the little piggy who had none on my right foot. I had a […]