The Sneer

The sneer was my breaking point. This all happened a couple of weeks ago, so before you continue reading, just know I’m perfectly fine now. I was really okay then, too, but I thought I would share since we’ve all had days (weeks, months?) like this. The prior week had ended in spectacularly shitty fashion. […]

A Workable Solution For Weight Loss

A few weeks ago on a Sunday morning, as I do every Sunday morning, I weighed myself. I have been working hard for about two years to lose weight, and it has been steadily working, but in the past six months, I haven’t lost a pound. I wasn’t ready to give up, but I was […]

To the Beachside Burglar

Dear Purse Snatcher- Are you having a good day? My guess is probably not because you’re the type of person who steals purses, so every day is undoubtedly a nightmare the likes of which I can never comprehend. That’s a real bummer, I’m genuinely sorry your life has led to this. Look, I know better […]

The Substance of Things Hoped For

A little vignette that perfectly sums up how the world views a Royals fan: Over the winter, I switched from Time Warner Cable to DirecTV, partly because I was fed up with TWC, but mostly because I wanted to get the NFL Sunday Ticket. I was tired of watching the Chiefs in smoky bars (yep, […]

Fuck This Shit

Fuck this shit. Seriously. Fuck all this shit. -Nicole Angeleen Related posts: I’m Going To Die In This Kinkos You Had to be a Big Shot, Didn’t Ya? Let’s Go On A Rampage! My Lifestyle Choice is Flip Flops

To The Toe Crunching Chowderhead

Dear Woman in Wedges, Wedge heels are ugly. The thin wedges I can tolerate, if tolerate them I must. However, the huge, chunky wedges–hearkening memories of the Pilgrim style square heels of the late nineties, abominations that they were­–are ghastly. I know you think they go with everything. They don’t. I know 99% of the […]

I’m Going To Die In This Kinkos

I’m going to die in this Kinkos. **Scrawled on a misprint.** This is how I go.  Now with a bang, but a printer. Seventy postcards.  That’s all I need.  Only thirty-five prints.  It should have taken merely a few minutes.  The printer thinks otherwise.  The printer has decided to jam inexplicably, incessantly, with each glossy […]