The Bobs Have Gone

In April 2011, my mom and I went to visit my godparents’ farm. It had been a little over a year since Dad died, and Mom was starting to emerge from the fog of grief. The weather was beautiful, and both physically and metaphorically, I felt the optimistic, loose-tendoned calmness of surfacing after a bitter […]

Helper Cats (Aren’t A Thing)

Shout out to my cats for helping me pack for next week’s move. You were exceptionally helpful. Me: Rogue, can you please move off the stairs? I have to carry this huge, heavy TV, and you’re kind of in the way. Rogue: Me: Hey, Spaz, I sort of need that chair to reach some high nails […]

Downtown Breakdown

Want to spice up your week? Maybe try an emotional meltdown on Tuesday, like I did last week. I have the formula, if required. It’s a cup of exhaustion, a healthy pint of hormonal irrationality, a dash of humidity, and of course, the secret ingredient: preternatural psychosis. In my adorable, hyper controlling, Type-A way, I […]

Little Miss Muffet

It happened. The nightmare scenario. Two nights ago, I was lying in bed reading, pretty standard Monday night fare for me. I’d been reading for about an hour when I felt something tickle my right forearm. Thinking it was the cat’s tail, I did nothing. The sensation persisted, so I looked down, and there I […]

Opening Day

It has been 159 days since Alex Gordon ended the World Series on third base, 90 feet away from tying game 7. It has been 159 days as a Royals fan, thinking about how close we were, how one tiny detail could have drastically changed what is now history. I’ve wrestled with that 90 feet, ached […]


There’s a woman at my gym who I’ve seen for about a year and a half. She’s approximately five feet tall, in her mid-forties, with what I would call a body-shaped body and a human face. I know she’s Filipino because she often wears a shirt with her country’s flag on it. Either that, or […]

Yes, Autographs, Please!

I met a fan. A flesh and blood, NOT imaginary fan. It was Christmas Eve, 2014. My friend Brian and I were at Target because we are quite insane. In the store, he spotted an old neighbor of his, a woman who lived next door when he was growing up. Her name was Shirley. I […]