By Ellen Edmands
Never in my life had I known there was something called thunder snow. I mean, snow is so quiet, so delicate, so virginal and thunder just violates that entirely. In other words, shit must be pretty bad if it’s blizzard-ing and thundering. Makes you kind of wonder what, exactly, have we done to piss off the almighty above?
I think about thunder all the time, and I have discovered a conspiracy of awesome — and I’m talking old school Oxford English Dictionary definition of awesome, if you know what I mean. Well, partly anyway. It all boils down to this:
“thunder” + anything = better.
It’s a bold claim to say that thunder will make your life better, but Kevin Durant looks pretty happy in the photo above, so there has to be some element of fun in thunder. Dare I say, funder?
Here are some examples of how adding thunder adds the funder:
Before thunder: Just an bunch of kitties
After: Boom! Hypermasculine, Giant-Sword-Sexified Cartoon Time
Before Thunder – Just two guys in their Nikes doing guy stuff:
After: Boom! Easy riding Australian mate
Before: Giant Cement and Steel Engineering Wunderkind Hubcap
After: Boom! It’s Tina We-Don’t-Need-Another-Hero Turner and the Thunderdome
(By the way, what’s with Australia and its love of thunder? Did they beat me to it?)
Before: Meek little head-cocked birdie
After: Boom! Mythical Thunderbird epic status
Before: Your kid won’t wear underwear to school
After: Boom! Call them “Thunderwear” and underwear becomes worthy, honorable
I’m putting out the call for your favorite funder
Not to run the risk of overkill, I left out my examples of Thunderween and Thunder Christ, but I’m still looking for more examples. Show me your funder. Send me a Tweet @Matkacita using the hashtag #funder, and tell me your suggestions, or tell me why I’m completely wrong.
Latest posts by Ellen Edmands (see all)
- How Thunder Is Funder - February 27, 2013
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